My Name Is Rebecca and ...

ad⋅dic⋅tion – noun

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Hmmm - I've probably said this before but I have, in the past, haughtily prided (is that redundant??) myself on having never been addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, drugs.

But food? Can you really be addicted to FOOD? Who woulda' really thunk it? Food is kicking my butt!!

Today - once again - I resolved to be "good" ... we had a wholesome, nutritious breakfast. I brought carrot sticks and fat free ranch dressing for a morning snack. I had a mini-pita roll with 3 slices of roast beef and one slice lean provolone - oh, and one peach. For my afternoon snack I had a small serving of strawberry jello. By the time I got off work @ 2:15 p.m., I had already consumed half of my water allotment for the day.

Not too bad.

Then I got home. I tallied up my calories and I was at 880 c. Considering I am allowing myself 1200-1400 c. right now - that was "okay" - enough for dinner.

Then I sat down to finish my homework (Stats) - due tomorrow night. I only had two questions to complete ... but I couldn't quite figure them out. It was at THIS exact moment I thought of the frosted animal cookies in the cupboard.

Nope.

Resist.

I waited and the urge passed. Phew - I did it! Then the phone ring. My new OBGYN's office with the results of my blood work ... "Your cholesterol numbers are up. They aren't terrible but the doctor would like you to follow-up with your primary physician as soon as possible to determine how he or she would like to proceed."

What? (Okay, scratch the "What?" ... Honestly, it's not like I can even pretend to be surprised. Of course my cholesterol numbers are elevated ... my eating sucks lately.)

I hung up the phone ... went to the cupboard, counted out 10 frosted animal crackers. That didn't fill me up - or at least didn't fill the void - or whatever it was I was feeding. (??)

I then grabbed two frosted strawberry poptarts ... the eating had begun. By the time dinner rolled around I was at 1500 c., so I told myself I would sit with the family but wouldn't eat because I had already consumed my calories for the day.

Do you think I stuck with that?

Nope.

I had meatloaf, mashed potatoes, two flaky biscuits, green beans ... I don't have a clue where my calorie count ended up for the day .... BUT ...

I do know why I'm not able to lose weight!

I never write down what I eat ... I guess by not writing it down I can "pretend" that the calories didn't exist? What the heck? Who am I foolin' here?

Certainly not my thighs.

I wouldn't think a person could really be addicted to food but ... my eating patterns are unhealthy and I don't exercise regularly.

I walked a few times last week and then my thighs were raw because they rubbed together (yuck - sorry ... I know ... the truth hurts).

Soooo much to learn -
Soooo far to go -
Soooo much to lose -

But I still won't give up ~


I'll keep you posted ...

I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing

I just wanted to tell you that there is a LOT of food on the "Biggest Loser 30 Day Jump Start" program. (Too much food right now.) This morning I made "Egg Foo Yung" - made with egg white(s) and LOADED with veges. It really did taste delicious! But add to that a large tangerine, a slice of toasted "Ezekiel 4:9" bread and an 8 oz. glass of milk (I sooo love my milk!) ... & phew. I'm feeling fulllll!

If you are a person who, like me, always feels like they are starving on a "diet" ... feel that way no more. You will be pushing the plate away feeling SOOO much satisfaction. Or - you'll just plain feel totally stuffed! :-) But that beats feeling so hungry that you're constantly thinking of your next meal, right? With this program that is not the case!

I think I “get” where they’re going with this ~ they want people to have big, bulky breakfasts to heal their dead (or dying) metabolisms from the "ghosts of diets past!" (lol)

So – if you find my metabolism sitting at my desk but find that I am missing … you’ll know which one of "us" survived!!