Me, Myself, or Them ...

Today I heard my Self say to my Self, “I wish I could write like __________.”

To which Self replied, “WHY?  Why would you want to write like someone else already writes?  Why don’t you want to write like YOU write?  Who else has your words?  Your thoughts?  Your styleeeeeee?”  (My Self loves the way Self says Styleeee ... but I digress ...)

Self replies, “Because.  I like the way  __________'s writing sounds.  It’s comical, it’s insightful, it’s inspirational.  It’s WHITTY.  I. LIKE.WHITTY."

Self immediately responds, "Hey!  You’re Whitty!”

“Really?  You think ... ?”

‘I think! But let me see if I can make sense of this another way.  Remember years ago when you were married and you and hubby opened all those COOL wedding presents?  Most were “one-of-a-kind" originals – but then, amidst those gifts, were a few duplicates.  What did you do with the duplicates – the five salad bowls that were exactly the same?  The four glass vases?  The three identical wedding scrapbooks?  The two turtle doves – that partridge in a pear tree?"  

Now Self interrupts, “Oh pulleeezzeee - Get on with it ...."

"Alright - Okay!  MY POINT IS THIS:  People aren't all that interested in a bunch of duplicate gifts – they like thoughtful originals.  One of a kind gifts are great!  Duplicate gifts are "okay" but think about it - often when someone gets the same gift from more than one person they keep one and return the other in exchange for something they don't already have - something they didn't already receive from someone else.  YOU, Self, are a one of a kind writer.  Nobody else has your words, your rhythm, your styleeee (there it is again!), your one of a kind thoughts as they pop into that brain of yours … 

• Be YOU.
• Write YOU.
• Embrace YOU.

(PS – By the way, Self, it probably wouldn't have hurt to keep at least two of those glass vases – they were kinda' cool.  Just sayin’ …")

Death With Dignity

I am unable to sleep tonight - partly because I know I have to be up for spin class @ 4:51 a.m., and it's currently 1:15 a.m., - partly because my dear husband is snoring which doesn't allow for the "think about stuff before I fall asleep" part of my go to bed routine - and partly because I feel like writing.

About many things.  But mainly death with dignity.

There are so many thoughts about one's decision to take their own life and die on their own terms.  In a sense - Jesus did this.  He knew his death was impending and he allowed someone else to take it.  It really wasn't a "natural" death.  How often does one "naturally" die a humiliating, agonizing death on a cross?

He surrendered to what He felt He had to do.
Brittany surrendered to what she felt she had to do.

I realize the  personal opinion expressed on this blog this morning is somewhat controversial but that is what it is - my personal opinion.  If one would say that we do not have the "right" to take a life - including our own -- that that is up to God only -- then again - in my opinion - that person must be consistent with this and follow through when it comes to any/all medical situations.

• Do not treat your child with medication when they're running a fever - trust God for healing.
• Do not have surgery or allow surgery to be performed on your child for any medical condition(s) - trust God for healing. 
• Do not undergo chemotherapy in an attempt to treat cancer - trust God for healing.
• Do not euthanize a sick pet - trust God for healing.
• Do not take human measures and intervene to bring about a cure for what ails you - trust God for healing.

Be consistent.

If I am ever diagnosed with a terminal illness I will strongly consider relocating to a state that allows one the right to choose the time of their death.  I have been placed in the situation to face this decision with a few beloved pets in my lifetime.  One of the main things their caring veterinarians said - when faced with the impending and certain death - was to try to determine when their own quality of life is being altered.

"At that point they count on you to selflessly end their life while they still have dignity."

I am of the opinion that Brittany chose to end her life while she still maintained her dignity.

I believe - at this point in my life - that I will do the same if ever faced with this decision/dilemma.  I would definitely have an open dialog/conversation with my loved ones prior to this decision but it is definitely one I would never fault another for making.

http://www.thebrittanyfund.org/

... don't blink!

She practically bulldozed her way into my hospital room (and she must have been filling in for someone because I’d not seen her before). This snarky little twit of a nurse stared condescendingly down at my bed and said - with almost a snarl - ‘Oh My Gawwwwd! Put that poooor child back in her basinette! You are going to spoil her before you even get her home!”

Huh?
What?

WHO was she and WHAT was she saying?? There I was – twenty five years young and pretty much fresh outta the delivery room following the birth of my adorable baby girl (via a tough and unexpected emergency cesarean section) – just hours earlier.

I was thinking to myself, “Put her down? Spoil her? Don’t you realize I waited 25 years to hold her in my arms?” (I thought some other things but they really aren’t fit to print!) Whatta snot! Anyway -- the next time I saw this particular “care giver” (cough*cough*) was a few days later. I had my “food tray” pulled as close to my chest as I could get it while still cradling my daughter in my left arm so I could use my right arm to finish filling out my election ballot when …

Uh oh! The snark came back in (ha).

I actually tried to HIDE my daughter underneath the food tray! ;-) Not one to hold back on her (unsolicited) advice she huffed, “Well - pffft - I see you follow directions well.”

I pushed my tray back and without even acknowledging her comment I stood and waddled over to my daughter’s basinette. I laid her in the little bed and stared down at her for who knows how long – I just didn’t want to put her in there! Behind me I heard snarks haughty words, “There! Now that’s a good girl. Trust me -- you’ll thank me one day.”

I got back in bed, she took my vitals (I’m pretty sure my blood pressure was elevated at that minute) and she walked out of the room. I kept looking at my baby as she lay quietly resting. I completed my ballot and looked over at Kimberly who continued to lay quietly in that basinette. Sure, she was fine. She didn’t need me to hold her. But -- I wanted to go get her. I just felt so sheepish about Atilla coming back in the room so -- I stayed put. And I felt sad.

Not even 30 seconds later another nurse with the same colored print scrub top strolled quietly in to my room. Without a word – without even a glance my way – she went to the basinette; gently lifted my little girl up. Then she walked over to my bed, winked at me, put my baby in my arms, sat on the edge of my bed and said the following in little more than a soft whisper (and I promise you – the following is SO close to verbatim I am going to take the liberty of using quotes … it’s THAT close to her exact words):

“Here’s a little more unsolicited advice, Sweetie. You’ll do fine. And whether or not your little girl is content in that basinette or not … hold her when you wanna. Hold her when you can. Hold her when she’s crying. Hold her when she’s smiling. Hold her when you’re sleepy. Hold her when she’s sleepy. Hold her when she’s awake. Hold her when you’re awake. Hold her when she’s cranky. Hold her when you’re cranky. Hold her: Whenever/wherever. And sister – for the rest of your life just trust me – you will have people giving you their opinions of how to raise your baby. Some of those well meaning people will offer their feedback when you ask for it – other’s will offer their feedback even though you don’t want it. I just gave you my feedback and Miss Priss before me offered her feedback.”

She took a quick breath and continued, “Your mission – should you choose to accept it (wink* wink*) is to weed through ALLLLL of the words you will hear over the next 18 years – and decide for yourself what works for you. And above all else … DON’T BLINK! They will be grown before you know it!”

I swear to you – as I write these words down – I can remember this entire interaction as clear as day. She reached over to where my daughter was now comfortably cradled in my arms [staring up at me with the most endearing gaze – ha] and this dear nurse gently patted my new to me little girl’s arm, then continued – almost longingly –

“You know, my little boy turned four yesterday. He’s a love bug and he used to really like to snuggle! But now? Ha ha - NO WAY! NOW he wants to play and be rough and tumble. He’s too macho to nestle onto my lap and into my arms for a hug. Sometimes, at bed time – or when he’s running a fever – he’ll let me steal some cuddle time but for the most part – he’s done with that, thank you very much! And already I wish I could turn back the clock. But I can’t. And every day I watch him play with Lego's and matchbox cars I thank the good guy upstairs that I had the foresight to realize my time to hold and snuggle would be short lived.

Take these words with a grain of sand if you will but at least hear this much – THIS LITTLE GIRL IS YOURS – to have and to hold – until she’s grown. We really only have a short time to snuggle, cuddle, and read them their favorite books. Try to savor each and every moment and just do me ONE favor … don’t wish it away. Don’t blink.”

--------------------------
What a sweet, sweet person. And when she walked out of my room, I think I actually looked to see if maybe wings were being smooshed under her scrub top! (ha) Sooo many times over the years I have longed for an opportunity to thank her. But I have to be content and hope that karma smiled on her in some special way over the years!

But you know what? I did continue to hold my daughter that day – and when snarky sue came back in and told me to put her down I defiantly said, “No.” I said it with allll of the will and determination I could muster and I learned a lot that day. The look of shock on Attila’s face was pretty priceless and I must say I felt my first sense of empowerment as a mom!

From that moment on – I held my little girl wherever and whenever I wanted to. I approached babyhood the same way when her first brother arrived on scene two years later and then when her second brother arrived five years after her first brother. J And you know what – they all turned out okay. At ages 24, 22 and 18 respectively – none of them are nursing today, they are all potty trained – and they are sharp, great people! I did something right!

But … somewhere along the line … in the busy-ness of life … I forgot the nurse’s words *her warning if you will* because for one instant I forgot and …

I blinked. (sigh*)

And this coming weekend the last of my birdies – that first baby girls littlest baby brother – will be shipping off to boot camp.

It is now almost a full twenty five years after that memorable day back in the hospital when a sweet nurse told me to cherish the days because they would fly by. And - they - flew.

My friend … THEY F-L-E-W.

And this afternoon here I sit – in front of a computer – writing to you about those early days because …

… because I want YOU to know … this day that you are living will be over before you know it. The stresses of your morning, your mounds of laundry, the endless sticky mess on your kitchen floor, the ring around your tub, the sink full of dishes, the crayon marks on your wall(s?) and ... the milk on your table near a half eaten bowl of Cheerios …

All too soon these will be a thing of the past.

And I can guarantee … you WILL miss these minutes! In only a few days my house will be very quiet.

*Deafeningly quiet.

So as I prepare for the silence and get ready to turn the page into a new chapter of this book that is my life allow me if you will to share some *unsolicited* advice, okay? ;-)

For You:

• The mom at home who is in the midst of chaos or calm.
• The mom who has to glean through oodles of unsolicited advice on a daily basis and try to decipher what will work best for you.
• The mom who is so exhausted she doesn’t know how she will make it through the day.
• The mom who is wide awake with worry because baby has just spiked yet another fever, or is cutting the first (or yet another) tooth, having another tantrum or – much to your chagrin – just pooped the mustard out of her diaper as you’re headed to your first portrait setting. (Did I mention you were already running late?)

Ahhh – I’ve been there my friend. And I don’t think I’m exaggerating one bit when I say I’d give almost anything to be back there for even just one day – one minute. I wish I could cuddle my baby, nurse him/her, read a story alongside their potty chair as they are learning to master this important milestone.

Just this past weekend the *gods* were merciful to me when my eighteen year old “bound for boot camp” guy had a house full of teens over. Wouldn’t you know they turned on Walt Disney’s “Peter Pan” (yep, the VHS tape)! Between that and a Pokemon DVD I was able to, once again, listen to the sounds of their childhood and – I’m honestly not trying to be overly dramatic when I say – the sounds were heaven to my ears!

I wish I could say I was the “perfect” parent.
I wish I could say I was patient all the time.
I wish I could say I never made mistakes.
I wish I could say I never spoke out of anger and always disciplined from that perfect place of gentleness and calm. 
I wish I could say I never wished a moment away.
I wish I could say I enjoyed every single moment and have no regrets.

But alas … I cannot honestly say one those things. Because yes – I, too, had my moments and I had my days. But I can say that, looking back, I’m a proud momma and, overall, I did a good job.

My birds grew strong, sharp, determined wings and they will soar successfully outside of the nest – I just know it! And one day if they are so blessed, they, too, will have a little birdie to cuddle. And I will offer my (cough* cough*) unsolicited advice (maybe in the form of this writing!) … and tell them to wade through all of the well intentioned words of others and do what works best for them.

· I will tell them to hold their baby when they wanna.
· I will tell them to always order school pictures even when funds are tight.
· I will tell them not to paint over the penciled growth charts on their wall and … leave at least one of those crayon drawings on a wall behind.
· I will tell them time flies.
· I will tell them to relax because their child won’t go to high school still stuck to your boob; and they will, one day, be successfully potty trained!
I will tell them to pray whenever/wherever.  It's like holding your child - you really can't ever pray too often either!
· I will tell them not to sweat the small stuff and that guy who wrote the book was right – it’s ALL small stuff!
· I will tell them not to use a paddle ball as a paddle (no explanation needed!) and that even one drop of hot sauce on the tongue after a “naughty word” is one drop of sauce too many!
· I will tell them that nobody knows their child like they do
· I will tell them to listen to their gut/instinct. Always!
· I will tell them you will never be as perfect as you want to be.
· I will tell them you will never please everybody so … don’t even try!

And while there are many, MANY other things I will probably think to tell them when that time comes the main thing I will definitely REMEMBER to tell them is:

DON’T BLINK!

PS 
And to that dear sweet nurse, whoever you are/wherever you are, if by chance you happen to read these words just know,

“ I will forever be indebted to you for giving me the fair warning about those early childhood days flying by. You were so right! And I love you for taking time to give me the heads up! Sincerely, A Thankful Mom!”

'DISH'in it out ...

We are currently a 'DISH' subscriber and I really like their service.

However, I have come to the realization that when our last chicken flies the coop we are going to have way too many TV channels in this house for the two of us.  Lately, Chuck and I just haven't really had a lot of time for television viewing.  Ben has enjoyed the NBA playoffs, etc., but really -- it's kind of a waste.

So I am in the process of downgrading our television cable and, come mid-July, I think we'll be saving quite a bit on our television subscription.

The "Deliberate Days" month of May really was good for me.  I have about 4 books that I'm either reading or getting ready to start and I just cannot get enough reading material to satisfy me.  I'm remembering how much I loved reading as a child.  We would go to the San Lorenzo Public Library and I would always look forward to checking out "The Little's" or a book about magic or ventriloquism!  I just couldn't get over the fact that these were FREE for me to borrow ... oh, how I loved the library!  :-)

Writing has also been a lot of fun but I am absolutely clueless where to go with my writing.  I lack skill when it comes to using proper grammar, punctuation, etc.  I also lack creativity when it comes to creating make believe.  Poetry is a breeze but it's not my passion. 

I am working on the short story I submitted to Women's World.  It was rejected (sigh*) and I had filed it away in the 'won't work' folder but then I realized that was a little silly.  Why not just work on it some more - it's kind of a cute story/idea if I do say so myself.  While I don't mind the rejection letter (okay, that's a lie - it did sting!), what I minded was the fact that there was no explanation.  I'm certain that's standard but I would sure like to know why it wouldn't work.  I'd like to have corrective criticism, helpful feedback, advice.  I know a busy/big magazine doesn't have time for that so ... my next step is to enroll in a creative writing course at the college. 

Ultimately I would love to have the time available to attend college at Chico and finish my BA with a major in English.  After that I would reallllllllly love to get my Master's in creative writing ... and who knows?  Maybe this will happen.  Chuck will be retiring in three years or so and if we get some things paid down between now and then who knows what the future holds?  ;-)  Maybe we'll free fly it and try out some new places to live.  I'm not sure California is where I want to live out my senior years but we definitely want to be here and close while our mom's are still with us.  And, of course, we want to be nearby once the grandbabies start to come along.  That isn't in the near future as of right now but who knows when the kids will meet and marry that "special someone"? 

I am looking forward to being a grandma someday and I know Chuck will enjoy that because he never had an opportunity to spend much time around babies and it's something he missed.  We had talked about having one child together after we married 12 years ago but with my having had a tubal after Ben it would have been not only risky at my age but also too expensive.  Chuck has treated the kids as if they were his own while never trying to take away from the relationship they have with their dad and he has been an amazing father figure for each of them.  I really scored in the husband lotto the second time around.

Life has been good to me and I realize with every passing day how blessed I am.  That sounds cheesy and cliche but I'm okay with cheesy and cliche because blessed is the word that fits best.

So here I sit in front of this computer.  My youngest took his last high school final today.  (Technically tomorrow is the last day but he has already completed all of his finals so ... his high school career is behind him.)  Five A's and one B (in Statistics).  If you can get a B in Statistics with my genes coursing through your veins you can consider yourself amazing!!  :-)

Okay so yeah, I am a proud mom.  I'm the kind of mom who bugs people because I could go on for hours about my kids but ... they're just that great.  And yeah, I'll also be "that" grandma who pulls her wallet out and the plastic accordian photo thingy flops down with all the pics of my grandbabies.  I'm just giving you fair warning so be ready to deal with it and nod and say how adorable they are.  Once I get your acknowledgement of what I already know I'll be good to go.  (ha)  Wow - this will be incredible birth control for my three kids should they ever read this blog.  lol

Enough rambling for today - more soon ...

I'm a ...

... "40 something wife and mom ..."


 Hmmm - am I?  Well, for a little while longer that profile description applies.  However - it's almost time for an update because in about a month the age thing will change.  (OUCH*)

Yep, I'm turning 50. 

Never in my life has an age gotten under my skin but now I'd have to admit it is a little bit ... perhaps that is because, for the first time IN my life, my skin is much more saggy!  lol

Fifty is "okay" - I mean, I'm happy to be alive (so thankful for this life I've been blessed to live!).  I guess the thing about turning 50 is the realization that I have lived more than half of my life and I don't have another 50 in the works.  When I turned 40 there was still the chance that I had another 40 in the making and that was fine with me.  But that's not (realistically) the case when you hit 50 as I highly doubt I'll see the big 1-0-0.  I mean, it could happen, yes -- but probably not.  And while I'm completely okay with that - it's just weird. 

This is the year that I realize how quickly time has passed and continues to pass.  My dad has passed away (something I somehow convinced myself would never happen in my lifetime thanks to an on into adulthood childhood belief that the rapture would take place!).  All three of my children are now 18 years of age.  My youngest child is graduating this Friday night. 

Empty Nest.
Turning 40.
Going through the loss of a parent.
My youngest shipping off to boot camp in San Diego ON my fiftieth birthday.

There's a lot I'm digesting right now.  I am not sure I would describe this feeling as one of sadness.  It's quite hard to put into words.

Right now I am really just reflecting on how I spend my time. 

It's definitely a time to reevaluate.

I always dreamed of being a wife and mom and now the child rearing part of the "mom" job is coming to a close.  That I do feel sad about.  I am happily married and that helps going into this new stage of life.  My husband and I have never had a life alone together.  Unlike the traditional family where the husband and wife marry before kids and have some time alone prior to their arrival, my incredible husband walked in to a ready made family and has cared for each of us since the day we began our life together as husband and wife.  Actually, he showed us all loving care quite a while before the actual wedding date.  There really aren't many men in this world like my Chuck.  He is a loving, warm man.  So even though we did things a bit backwards as far as time without children living in the home, it will be something exciting to have the house to ourselves and be a couple for the first time sans children.

But I will MISS the kids so much.  I feel for people who have multiples at the same time ... at least in my case I've had a break between children moving out of the nest and going on their own.  That time between kids moving on has given me an opportunity to adjust - to know what to expect somewhat.

And yet I'm not sure a mom is ever prepared to send her last child out into the world.  It happens - it has to happen - you want it to happen for your kids. 

But still ...

Anyway - moving on.  I thoroughly enjoyed the "Deliberate Days" of writing in May.  Turning the television off more often and picking up a book (I got a lot of reading done!) and/or writing on this blog ... it turned out to be a GREAT use of my time.  I really enjoyed the month of May.

I want to live deliberately from now on ... I want to live a "daily deliberate" life.  Maybe that's what I will call my column (yeah, the one I'm dreaming of writing).  ;-)

Life is short --> Life is not a dress rehearsal --> There are no do-overs, just do-betters.

PS --> Eat chocolate.

Droopy Drawers ...

Yesterday my husband and I were in Raley's.  Ben was still over at a friend's house finishing a final (project) for school and we were, once again, doing a trial run of the ol' 'empty nest' thing.  Happening a lot lately ... it's weird.

Anyway - I digress.  We were in Raley's and for whatever reason, I was thinking about this blog.  I was looking at a few parents with children still small enough to ride in the cart and I was running through the whole, "Don't blink" thing in my head when I had a funny memory surface.  It happened one day about 12 years ago.  Ben was around 6 years old and Daniel was around 11 yrs.  Both of the boys were testing me out ... trying to see if they could get away with wearing baggy pants.  I would have none of it.  Daniel figured out fairly quickly that I thought the pants were ridiculous and that "style" would not make its way successfully into their wardrobe.  Ben, on the other hand, thought he could hold out and, with those long eyelashes that he tried to blink on occasion, convince me over time that baggy pants were THE thing.

One day while in Raley's (I remember we were in the meat department - ha) Daniel and Ben were going back and forth (told you it wasn't all peachy ... we had our not so "Mother of the Year qualifying" moments ... this was one) ...

So both of the boys were going back and forth - messing around, arguing, being loud, etc.  I don't remember everything that happened, just that I was trying (stress TRYING) to shop.  Raley's was definitely not my regular place to shop at that time but for whatever reason we were there.  And it was on a weeknight and everybody was tired, cranky, hungry - probably HOT in Redding.  Apparently I was a distracted shopper because at some point I turned back just in time to see Daniel-pants-Ben!  They had been discussing Ben sneaking out of the house with baggy pants (not sure how I missed that one as that was one of my pet peeves) - but I missed it so Daniel thought he'd teach Ben a lesson.  Daniel told Ben his pants were so loose he (Daniel) could pull them down.  

Ben said, "You can not," Daniel said, "I can so."

Daniel could.

Daniel did.

I FLIPPED OUT!

I was sooo mad - mostly embarrassed - and ... well, you name it, I was.  All I really remember was flagging down the nearest Raley's employee, asking if they would please put my cart (filled with dairy, meat and frozen products by this time) into their cooler in the back.  I explained (after rapidly pulling UP Ben's pants .... thankfully the underwear had remained in tact during the fiasco) that I needed to run home for something and I promised to return shortly and pay for my groceries.

I'm not sure what I did at home -- I'm sure it included the "look" - the "lecture" ... whatever. 

But today - in Raley's - walking through the meat department -- that memory cracked me up!

I just worried soooo much about what others thought of me as a parent, thought of my children as kids ... I worried wayyy too much.  (If I had a "do-over" that'd be one thing I would definitely do-over.  I'd chill SOOO much more.) 

Really - my kids wouldn't believe this but reallyyy!!  I just wouldn't freak out so much about what others thought of me.  As Dr. Phil would say, "Don't worry about what others are thinking about you.  Truth is - they're NOT."

So true.

Although I must confess I still worry (some) to this day about outward appearances ... it's getting easier.  I worry less now that my "baby" is eighteen -- a lot of stress has been lifted as far as pleasing others is concerned.

People just really aren't paying that much attention to the rest of us ... they're too busy worrying about what we think of them.

Time to lighten up -- live life -- enjoy each day ... and recall those hilarious childhood moments that turned into great "remember when" memories! 

Maybe this is why grandparents are so popular with the grandkids.  They exhausted most of their overreacting and worrying about other's opinions during their child rearing years with their own kids.  Now they realize how fast the time goes and they realize what other people think of them really is none of their business.  ;-)

So -- here's to chilling out ... and tight waistbands forever!

A Crush?

I have a confession to make.

Timothy Busfield fell in love with me in the canned foods aisle of Raley's last night.  I know.  I know - it sounds crazy ... but it's true. 

Well, it was true.  Until I woke up!

HA --   I have to say, in all honesty, Timothy Busfield is the LAST actor I would want to have to come clean and admit had a crush on me.  No offense intended but seriously, Busfield?  I mean, he was okay as Elliot on my favorite 1980's show, 'Thirty Something.'  But he was just "okay" ...

In 'real life' he recently married Melissa Gilbert (really Timothy - Half Pint?) and he seems happy enough.  So why in the heck is he showing up in my dreams, asking me to listen to "this new song I wrote" - holding his iPod up to my ear and then telling me, "I hope this moment between us never ends" ... why Timothy?  WHY?

hahaha

Aren't dreams C-R-A-Z-Y?  Some dreams sure are.  Especially those dreams you have that, upon awakening, seemed so real you wonder if what you're remembering was a dream or if it really happened?  I had a dream the other night that I was called into my Supervisor's office because there was porn on my work computer.  Now okay - I KNOWWW there's not porn on my work computer - at least there's no porn that I've been viewing on my work computer - but still, upon awakening that stupid dream seemed so real I almost wanted to call in sick so I didn't have to face my supervisor.  HA

And anyway - if I'm going to have a stupid sounding dream - really subconscious ... AT LEAST put Simon Baker in the dream or for that matter Mark Harmon ... (now there's a couple of dreams for ya) ... but Timothy Busfield?  Ugh - MY subconscious is whacked out!

Yep.  Some dreams ARE whacked out.  And some dreams are funny.  Some dreams are super scary (I had one of those recently as well and I woke Chuck up and told him I wanted to put my head on his shoulder because my dream scared me and, in his sleeping state, he wrapped me up and assured me everything was going to be just fine.  He'd keep me safe and I could just drift back to sleep.  Ahhhh - my husband is THE BEST.  That THAT, Busfield!).

Sooo - here I sit - my Deliberate Days of writing during the month of May are behind me and I still want to write.  About anything - silly stuff, serious stuff, stupid stuff ... stuff.  I love to write.

I love to share my dreams - real and/or imagined.

I love life.  I hope you do, too!!

Have a GREAT Sunday!  :-)

PS -->  Timothy Busfield - you're simply not my type.  But please tell your wife I loved her in Little House!  ;-)