This is NUTS!

I have lost 3 1/2 pounds!

(I won't be checking the scale again for a while - but I'm happy to see my weight headed in the right direction. Woo Hoo!)

Lately I've been focusing in on: 1) Figuring out how to post these blogs about life (& realizing I still have a lot to learn about blogging); 2) Spending the time (more time than ever before in my life) making a serious decision as to what I am going to do to achieve my weight loss goal once and for all!

This is it. I am NOT interested in anything "quick fix" and/or "fad." I am not going to rush this process - I'm going to fix what I have been doing wrong.

Going into this, my final weight loss journey, I weighed in at 211 pounds. I know that I wasn't planning on checking the scale but decided I want to be able to celebrate where I came from once I have arrived at where I'm going to. (Personally, I am always bugged by those who have lost weight who then say, "I don't know what I weighed at my heaviest."

Huh? You don't know?! For reals??! Shoot. No fair! I'm cryin' FOUL on this! I - the cheerleader - am now left feeling gipped. I want to scream, "How can you not know? I NEED to know your starting weight so I can compare it to mine and see if you weighed then what I still weigh now." Somehow it helps me feel more "hopeful" if I know others started heavy and succeeded!

Losers owe us THAT much! haha

So you see: I checked the scale for all of you! (ha)

Anyway - 211 pounds. That is the most I have ever weighed without looking forward to losing 25 pounds following the pregnancy! ha

211 pounds is not okay. That is where I began. This morning I was 207 1/2. Still not "okay" for me @ a height of 5'3" -- but the scale did not go up! THAT is something! Focus on the positive -- that's one of my goals!!

Dr. Phil ALWAYS says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." I needed to acknowledge my starting point. It was tough to swallow but - that's okay. I faced it and now I'm moving forward.

Though I have started with the food intake portion of this my final weight loss program, I'm still fine tuning some things as far as exercise, getting to the root of why I "use" food for enjoyment instead of using food for fuel. I am taking what I consider to be the best of some of the programs out there. I am following "The Biggest Loser 30-Day Jumpstart" for the food portion of this program. I am working through Dr. Phil's, "Ultimate Weight Solution" book to deal with some of the reasons I use food for ... well, for the many things I use food for (combat bordom, deal with emotions - good and bad - etc.), and then in a few days I will be adding the FDA approved non-prescription Alli weight loss capsule.

The first chapter in "The Ultimate Weight Solution" goes over the importance of "Getting Real About You and Your Weight." It really IS important to face the music. My favorite line in the book thus far is found on page 13 in the very first chapter, "You've known for a long time that you were going to have to get real about fat or stay real fat."

(Rather than rewrite the book here I will simply say - READ IT. I'm still in the process of reading it but can already recommend! If you have EVER been on a diet and regained the weight you still have a thing or two to learn. And you're not alone. So please - read the book along with me!)

I have so much to say but I need to "condense" so I will suffice it all to say this: This will be a process, a journey. It is an "event" in my life and I am already enjoying it! It isn't going to be easy - and it's not going to be fast. It's going to take work, commitment, time, patience and digging. Digging deep. But I can do this.

I entitled this post, "This is nuts" for a couple of reasons. The first is because I am finding some of the most difficult things for me to pass up are nuts. Walnuts, almonds, pecans. You name it. I really love nuts. And nuts have healthy protein ... in moderation. However, if I knew how to eat in moderation I wouldn't be where I am today. So - I have to learn ... EVERYTHING in moderation. I need to walk away from those nuts calling out to me from the kitchen cupboard and if I cannot walk away - THEY need to walk away - in my hand ... straight to the trash!

The second reason I entitled my post, "This is NUTS" is because I had a dear friend say to me that I was an idiot. An idiot for putting my life on display for others to watch me fail.

Hmmm - I hadn't thought about this blog in that way! (ha) Seriously, I hadn't. And I could totally see where she was coming from. Those who know me well at all know this battle of my bulge has been ongoing for many years.

My track record isn't the hottest for overcoming obesity but ... as Kim Bensen says in her (excellent) book, 'Finally Thin,' "Just remember ... the only way you'll never lose weight is if you stop trying."

About 6 months ago, I thought I had stopped trying. Really. I told myself 'never again.' I thought I was done with diets and that I would just settle for being overweight. I was sick of deprivation, fads, feeling hungry, eating prepackaged "stuff" - etc.

But I can't settle like that. No way. I tried to have a conversation with myself as if I were conversing with a friend like you who was asking for my honest feedback/advice. If I had a friend who was overweight and he or she asked me if I thought they should settle for a life of obesity I would say, "No way - you're so much better than that! You can do this! Don't ever give up on yourself! You WILL SUCCEED."

Having that conversation with MYSELF in the miror made a lot of difference! I told myself what I would tell anyone of you ... keep on keepin' on! Move forward. Never, ever give up!

So - I am keepin' on. If I keep trying I won't fail. I won't give up. I will succeed.

And along the way I'll keep you ... posted! :-)