Let me explain: Recently, I won a drawing for fitness training at a gym in Redding: CrossFit. CrossFit is pretty cool and they are turning out some very fit athletes!
Woo Hoo, right?! ;-) Sure, yeah ... whatevuh! (lol)
My first one-on-one training session was Tuesday evening @ 5:30 p.m. I was cautiously optimistic and eager to get started. I am not certain what exactly I was expecting. I knew the training was going to consist of initial technique training ... how to properly lift, squat, press, etc. I think I was figuring on about 1 hour of time from start to finish. Ummm ...
Not.
I should've listened when I was forewarned that this particular trainer was - and I quote - a "beast". How can something so tiny be a beast? I remained cautiously optimistic.
THAT was my first mistake! (ha) Our first hour was spent on technique/skill training and that I was expecting. In fact, I would have to say the upper body training was not bad at all - I was taught how to properly lift and press and stretch using a PVC pipe in place of a regular barbell. Piece o' cake!
It was when this gal began to work with me on the proper technique for squatting. Ohhhh man - the first few were okay. BUT - when I had to start squatting and staying down in position so the gal could properly adjust my foot placement, where my thighs were, etc., THIS is when the burn started. I don't know how many squats I did (I stopped counting at 4,358! ha ... okay, maybe THAT's a slight exaggeration??) ;-) ... but for a person who hasn't squatted for years ... 5 squats would've been too many at that point in time. Let me just say -- there were WAYYYYY more than five. sigh*)
After almost a full hour of this training, skinny girl says, "Okay Rebecca ... let's take a quick break. I have to go to the bathroom and I'd like you to get some water. I want you to be well hydrated when we begin your ...
WORKOUT!"
Ummmmmmm ......
HUH? WHAT? I chuckle and she looks at me strange? "What?" (I think) ... "You are not joking?" Quickly it is apparent ... nope, she's NOT joking??? Oh PUULEEEZZZZEEE God - this HAS to be a joke?!
I am about to collapse. I'm not kidding you. My legs were singing the J-E-L-L-O jingle. They were quivering ...
But this was no joke. She walks into the bathroom and I must admit -- I immediately looked for the nearest exit door that wasn't blocked by fit freaks. I planned my route ... could I grab my purse from the cubby and make it to the exit undetected BEFORE she had a chance to wipe?
Sadly, no. Not only does this chick run fast ... she goes to the bathroom too fast. Shoot! Plan A: Foiled. :-(
The WOD (Workout Of the Day) for me consisted of their 10,20,30,40 plan: 10 push-ups followed by 20 sit-ups, followed by 30 (more!) squats (WHAAAAT?????), followed by a 400 m. (the equivalent of once around a high school track) run.
My mind instantly went into panic mode. I was fighting off the voice screaming, "I can't, I can't" ... I was trying to pull from deeeeep within ... I honestly felt like I had nothing more to give. The push-ups and the sit-ups? Maybe. But the squats followed by any type of run? I just didn't see it within reach.
Went I went in to the gym I tried to be positive and explain in a non-defeatest way that I was very much a beginner ... having not been a regular attender to a gym for 10 years. Even when I did attend regularly it was to an all women's gym where my focus was primarily on some nautilus equipment and mostly an aerobics and/or step class. This gym format is new to me -- more of a military combat style using free weights, bands, barbells, ropes, etc. It is an intense level fitness center. As they would say, they are "hardcore".
It's great - don't get me wrong. These are serious work out enthusiasts ... and I am in awe of their discipline, their muscles, their stamina. I truly am.
But for myself? I DO want to walk when all is said and done. (ha)
When skinny chick came out from the bathroom - I was still there (she was probably as surprised as I!). :-) I did the push-ups (such as mine were compared to her example), I did the sit-ups ... those were actually okay ... but the 30 additional squats? Those were very difficult for me to finish - which was disheartening because she stood over me with stopwatch in hand and I knew my efforts were being recorded from start to finish. I'm sure that's good - it would be great to look back in several months to see where my efforts have taken me. But I have no plans to join this gym once this free "fundamentals training" is completed. It was a great drawing to win but we have a family membership through my work that covers every family member for 1/2 the price that this particular gym charges for one individual. It is not only not feasible for me - but it's not practical for my family, nor is it necessary.
I am sincerely trying to determine my ultimate fitness goals for me as an individual. I am toying with the idea of eventually competing in a marathon - and even toying with the idea of taking that one step further and competing in a traiathlon. These are goals I am thinking I might want to achieve. What I am sincerely trying to determine is whether or not I must start out at this level intensity to eventually be able to accomplish the goals I just listed ... or if, as I'm suspecting, she is pushing too fast out the gate. I am all for a challenge and I expect to be uncomfortable and even in some pain initially commencing with a new program.
However, I have to say - I didn't feel "listened" to by this trainer. She was young, she was eager, she was enthusiastic. But she didn't listen to me. I wasn't making excuses - I was being honest. If I felt she was trying to push me and that I just wasn't willing to give my best - that would be one thing. I think a good trainer can see in us what sometimes we cannot see in ourselves.
This isn't the case. I do not think she had the wisdom to realize limitations and the red flag to me is that I didn't feel the "comfort chemistry" that I think is necessary between a trainer and trainee. BOTH need to be able to express where they are and feel listened to. My feelings were ignored. I think she pushed too hard. I really do.
When it came time to go outside and do my run and I (honest to God) went to lift my leg and start a subtle jog - my left leg totally gave way. I almost fell - I hobbled and locked my knee to keep from going down. It shook and gave way again once I had steadied myself. I turned and said, "I will be walking this 400 meter." I don't think she was too impressed but she nodded affirmatively and I turned and finished the 400 meters at a walking pace. All the while she had that stop watch in the palm of her hand held upright so I could see it. If that was supposed to make me move faster it would've ... if I could've.
At the moment I turned back to finish the 400 m., I felt a new understanding of how obese individuals felt on "The Biggest Loser." My trainer did not scream in my face at all -- but the individuals on that show who are also new to fitness routines are subjected to Jillian Michaels getting right up in their faces - screaming at them not to quit, to dig deeper, etc. If Jillian had been with me this past Tuesday she would've definitely been screaming in my face ... she probably would've wanted to slap me. I might have been one of those contestants flying off the back of the treadmill!
In hindsight - I do feel like I gave it my all on Tuesday night. I'm looking back and asking myself, "Did you wimp out? Could you have given more? ... Be Honest Now!"
Wellll - I didn't wimp out. It's possible that skinny girl saw more in me than I saw in myself but I physically could not get my legs to jog. Even walking I felt like I had to lock my knees to keep them from giving way.
If it wasn't happening to yours truly even I might've looked on and chuckled. But - it WAS happening to me and ... it wasn't so funny then! :-)
Suffice it to say, by the time I got into my car to leave I was uncertain whether or not I would have strength enough in my foot to apply pressure to the gas pedal. Once I was successful in that feat I was all the more thankful I had an automatic car and didn't have to use the other foot for the clutch.
I made it home and tried not to let on too much. I took some Tylenol this morning at 3am! (Yes, really.)
My next session is tomorrow night ... and will I go?
I will keep you .....
... posted
(because luckilly - TYPING - uses my fingers ... NOT my lower extremeties. From my thighs down there is a sign that reads, "OUT OF ORDER" - so that's the explanation for it if you see me at the mall later!)
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