This time, when she breaks the silence to ask me once again, "Have you found a safe place?" she adds, "It doesn't have to be real you know. You can make up an imaginary location."
Hmmm - now THAT might really help! Finally I tell her yes - I have my place.
I imagine that I am sitting on a large patch of plush green grass under a tree. She asks, "What type of tree?" I'm thinking, "Does that really matter?" But I answer instead, "Ummm - a ... big tree? I don't know. I'm not all that familiar with my tree families." She asks, "Is it a big oak or a big fir type Christmas tree?" I think, "Does it matter?" :-) But I answer instead, "Ummm - yeah, it's a big oak."
Now mind you - at this point I am still supposed to have my eyes closed but I peek (shhh - don't tell). She writes something down on her steno pad and I wonder, "Hmph! Did I choose the wrong tree?" (ha)
Whatever. I think to myself, "These tree questions are messin' with my quiet space - can we move on? I only have 45 minutes remaining!" I say ... nothing.
She asks what sounds I hear ... do I hear anything at all? I tell her that yes, there is a large flowing stream in front so I hear soothing water flowing. She asks if I hear anything else? I say, "Maybe a bird or two?" She asks, "What type of bird?"
Oh brother - REALLY?
"The type that flies!" (Sorry, I don't know my bird families all that well either." ha)
She lets me slide.
She asks me if I see anything else around me? I hesitate. Finally I admit, "Ummm - the fence I put around the stream and the grass???!" She laughs. "This is imaginary, okay?" she says. "Okay," I say, "but the fence stands."
She obliges.
She asks what color the sky is ... I tell her blue. "All blue?" she inquires, "Any clouds?" I tell her no, it's a beautiful and clear blue sky - my idea of the perfect spring day. No clouds in sight.
She sounds pleased with my response(s). (Phew ~ at least I passed one! :-)
Now she asks my permission to add to my scenery.
Huh? What? I hesitate - then I give in. Okay - that's fine ~ just don't remove my fence. She has no plans to remove my fence. What she IS adding is a large, beautiful mountain.
At the top of this beautiful mountain is ... Almighty God. The One I have been searching for of late ... the One I am desperate to find and talk with ... the One I am longing to get to know on a personal level.
Not somebody else's God - my God.
She tells me that a Winnebago has just pulled up. I (typical smart ass that I am) ask, "Hey! How'd they get through my fence? It had a gate! The gate was locked. That's it - I'm getting a refund!"
She laughs and says, "They just get in - okay? I let them in - they are safe." Welllllllll - I hope they're good "Winnebago-ens" or I will place a stop payment on her check! ;-) She assures me ... they are well meaning.
Okay ~ they can intrude - whatever! (It's her check, not mine!)
Apparently, there are several people already IN this Winnebago. (No kidding! It holds hundreds - and she thinks MY imagination is wacky??! ha). All of the passengers are traveling to the top of the mountain ... to see the Almighty. Would I like to join them?
Would I like to see God?
Are you kidding me? OF COURSE I want to see God! I quickly gather up the few belongings I had with me under the "tree" - near that "water" - with the fence around it! :-) I grab my guitar (okay, I don't play but ... in my imagination I'm a great guitarist!), my water bottle and my red journal with its matching red pen. Everybody welcomes me into their Winnebago with open arms - I'm an immediate part of their ... "family." They are laughing, singing, talking, dancing. I am not that much of a social person so ...
I am watching, studying, evaluating. As I look around a bit more I notice something that strikes me as being a bit odd: All of the passengers in this Winnebago look the same. The women are all wearing the same style of dress, the men the same pants, shirts, ties. They all have similar hair styles, they listen to the same music, they speak the exact same language. I check the surroundings and note all of those "familiar" comforts of home - a fridge, a stove, a table, a booth, beds and bedding, pots and pans, glasses and silverware. And of course the all time favorite of those living in my hometown - there is AIR CONDITIONING in this Winnebago.
At the top of this beautiful mountain is ... Almighty God. The One I have been searching for of late ... the One I am desperate to find and talk with ... the One I am longing to get to know on a personal level.
Not somebody else's God - my God.
She tells me that a Winnebago has just pulled up. I (typical smart ass that I am) ask, "Hey! How'd they get through my fence? It had a gate! The gate was locked. That's it - I'm getting a refund!"
She laughs and says, "They just get in - okay? I let them in - they are safe." Welllllllll - I hope they're good "Winnebago-ens" or I will place a stop payment on her check! ;-) She assures me ... they are well meaning.
Okay ~ they can intrude - whatever! (It's her check, not mine!)
Apparently, there are several people already IN this Winnebago. (No kidding! It holds hundreds - and she thinks MY imagination is wacky??! ha). All of the passengers are traveling to the top of the mountain ... to see the Almighty. Would I like to join them?
Would I like to see God?
Are you kidding me? OF COURSE I want to see God! I quickly gather up the few belongings I had with me under the "tree" - near that "water" - with the fence around it! :-) I grab my guitar (okay, I don't play but ... in my imagination I'm a great guitarist!), my water bottle and my red journal with its matching red pen. Everybody welcomes me into their Winnebago with open arms - I'm an immediate part of their ... "family." They are laughing, singing, talking, dancing. I am not that much of a social person so ...
I am watching, studying, evaluating. As I look around a bit more I notice something that strikes me as being a bit odd: All of the passengers in this Winnebago look the same. The women are all wearing the same style of dress, the men the same pants, shirts, ties. They all have similar hair styles, they listen to the same music, they speak the exact same language. I check the surroundings and note all of those "familiar" comforts of home - a fridge, a stove, a table, a booth, beds and bedding, pots and pans, glasses and silverware. And of course the all time favorite of those living in my hometown - there is AIR CONDITIONING in this Winnebago.
Ahhh - this looks nice - this seems easy ... this is ... dare I say ~ "fun!" I don't have to think about a thing - they've figured it all out for me ... and everything is all laid out: my clothing, my bedding, my music. Hmmm, this might even be ... comfortable?! There is mingling, chattering - a murmer amongst the group. They are talking about God ... but some of their conversations seem a little off to me. Where in the Bible does it say that?
I say nothing. Afterall, they are taking me to the top of the mountain for free. As long as I ride with them and go along with things - it's an easy trip, right? Wouldn't wanna' rock the boat (or the Winnebago!).
About an hour into our "trip" - the driver announces to all of us that the road is beginning to narrow, would we all please quiet down so he can concentrate? Immediately, everyone grows silent.
The Winnebago slows more ... eventually coming to a complete stop.
Our driver shuts off the engine and sits behind the wheel for a minute thinking and studying the road ahead. When he finally turns to everyone he announces, "I'm so sorry but ... this is as far as the Winnebago will take you. If you want to continue up to the top of the mountain, where God is, you will need to get out of this Winnebago and take that jeep on ahead."
It's not a jeep that will hold hundreds (like the "Wacky Winnebago"), but it will still hold several passengers. There's an air conditioner but - what's the point? There are no doors on this thing. There's no fridge, no stove, the radio doesn't work. It's dusty, dirty - you get the picture. Some of the Winnebago's amenities are obviously missing and while some of my former Winnebagen comrades have made their way into the jeep -- several others have decided to go no further. They call for someone to pick them up and take them back home.
The rest of us (I choose to stay) pile in and a brand new driver turns over the ignition. We're off ~ back toward the top of the mountain to meet the Almighty. I'm still excited. This ride isn't so bad - the jeep has 4 wheel drive and, though it's a little less comfortable, the bumps aren't too bad and the company is pretty sweet. Overall -- still a fairly comfortable ride.
Uh oh - what's this? Our jeep is slowing down! Same thing - same scenario - driver says the road is narrowing up ahead. Long story short - the jeep can travel no further. He offers a motorcycle (did he really just say a motorcycle??). He says, "You can journey on in groups of two or ... you can turn back now and call for transportation back home."
A few of us choose to continue on. This ride is going to get a bit more rugged. On this motorcycle there are no amenities. We're hitting several potholes now, the road is more narrow than ever before and .... woooo - this thing is bumpy. I just had a bug hit my face. We were allowed to keep our backpacks if we had them - but anything else had to be left behind.
And not too long after our motorcycle journey began -- you guessed it ... we had to stop. The path ahead was way too narrow for even just the motorcycle to continue on. If we wanted to continue we would have to get off and walk.
Alone.
(You know me and alone?)
Hmph. But there was only a single path ahead. Room for "one" on the remainder of the journey. Other's could make the journey but we could not travel together from this point on ~ it was one at a time. It was getting dark now - a little spooky. But the promise stood: At the top of the mountain we WOULD find God.
Did I still want to go - even if I had to go it alone? Even if nobody else agreed with the decision? Even if it was a little scary?
I had no difficulty making my decision: Even if I have to go it alone - even if everyone I knew disagreed with my decision - even if those I know and love are convinced this isn't right - it wouldn't be this difficult, you shouldn't do it ... stay with us - we'll find the Almighty another way.
No, I want to go.
About an hour into our "trip" - the driver announces to all of us that the road is beginning to narrow, would we all please quiet down so he can concentrate? Immediately, everyone grows silent.
The Winnebago slows more ... eventually coming to a complete stop.
Our driver shuts off the engine and sits behind the wheel for a minute thinking and studying the road ahead. When he finally turns to everyone he announces, "I'm so sorry but ... this is as far as the Winnebago will take you. If you want to continue up to the top of the mountain, where God is, you will need to get out of this Winnebago and take that jeep on ahead."
It's not a jeep that will hold hundreds (like the "Wacky Winnebago"), but it will still hold several passengers. There's an air conditioner but - what's the point? There are no doors on this thing. There's no fridge, no stove, the radio doesn't work. It's dusty, dirty - you get the picture. Some of the Winnebago's amenities are obviously missing and while some of my former Winnebagen comrades have made their way into the jeep -- several others have decided to go no further. They call for someone to pick them up and take them back home.
The rest of us (I choose to stay) pile in and a brand new driver turns over the ignition. We're off ~ back toward the top of the mountain to meet the Almighty. I'm still excited. This ride isn't so bad - the jeep has 4 wheel drive and, though it's a little less comfortable, the bumps aren't too bad and the company is pretty sweet. Overall -- still a fairly comfortable ride.
Uh oh - what's this? Our jeep is slowing down! Same thing - same scenario - driver says the road is narrowing up ahead. Long story short - the jeep can travel no further. He offers a motorcycle (did he really just say a motorcycle??). He says, "You can journey on in groups of two or ... you can turn back now and call for transportation back home."
A few of us choose to continue on. This ride is going to get a bit more rugged. On this motorcycle there are no amenities. We're hitting several potholes now, the road is more narrow than ever before and .... woooo - this thing is bumpy. I just had a bug hit my face. We were allowed to keep our backpacks if we had them - but anything else had to be left behind.
And not too long after our motorcycle journey began -- you guessed it ... we had to stop. The path ahead was way too narrow for even just the motorcycle to continue on. If we wanted to continue we would have to get off and walk.
Alone.
(You know me and alone?)
Hmph. But there was only a single path ahead. Room for "one" on the remainder of the journey. Other's could make the journey but we could not travel together from this point on ~ it was one at a time. It was getting dark now - a little spooky. But the promise stood: At the top of the mountain we WOULD find God.
Did I still want to go - even if I had to go it alone? Even if nobody else agreed with the decision? Even if it was a little scary?
I had no difficulty making my decision: Even if I have to go it alone - even if everyone I knew disagreed with my decision - even if those I know and love are convinced this isn't right - it wouldn't be this difficult, you shouldn't do it ... stay with us - we'll find the Almighty another way.
No, I want to go.
I WILL make this journey to the top of the mountain.
To be continued ...
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