Deliberate Day 15

Who says jury duty can't be fun?  

I, for one, found this day hilarious!   As I approached the courthouse steps on this overcast day in May, the first sound I heard was a gruff female voice counting to five.  Out of my field of vision my guess was the voice was coming from a stressed out grandmother dealing with a defiant child.  However, as I rounded the steps I saw she (heretofore referred to as Lady - ha - like that?  I'm not even on a jury yet and already practicing my lingo!) was speaking down to a little black dog.  Her five count was actually an attempt to incite her pooch to pee.

Little did I know that was  only the beginning of the "morning show."

A Marshall approached Lady and asked if her dog was a medical necessity.  In a slightly miffed tone she replied, "He most certainly is!"  Then Lady proceeded to tell the Marshall that her dog was the only thing standing between her and a "ridiculous" melt down.  "Trust me sir, you DON'T want to be around me when I have an anxiety attack".  Mr. Marshall said he'd take her word for it.  He then instructed her to take the matter up with the judge to which she replied,  "Oh believe you me - I intend to!"

Shortly after he was out of earshot she turned to those close by and whispered,  "Wanna get outta jury duty?  You can purchase these medical service dog scarves from eBay ... they come in a variety of colors. My Whimpers likes the purple best."

Fast forward to about 9:30am.:  Out of all of the available seating she chooses the seat directly in front of me.  I guess I should be happy - more material for the future novel.  It was at this point that I realize the way my luck was running - jury selection was in my future.

Back to the courthouse:  Lady never stops talking - not even to take a breath!  I am thinking her lung capacity could be a Guinness record.   Little Whimpers (we have since learned he is "almost fourteen") sounds like he has emphysema and I find myself wondering if he's about to cough up a lung.  Ick ...  

Lady says he's faking ... for attention. 
(I had my doubts.) 

But the minute she said he was a fraud ... Whimpers stopped coughing.

Hmmm ... ?

Now a younger woman approaches and when Lady looks up, recognition crosses her face.  She screams.  Loudly.  Everybody around me (including me) jumps!  Lady and Younger Woman exchange loud hello's and hugs and then Younger Woman takes the empty seat next to Lady.  Younger Woman soon proves she is also qualified to join Lady in the Guiness record book (if these two had been "Chatty Cathy" dolls one would swear their pull strings had gotten stuck!).  Younger Woman has multi colored dreadlocks which I found fascinating.  But seriously, she had more of those little bur/stickers in her dreads than my dog Nelson has ever had in his fur.  It took allllll of the restraint I could possibly muster to keep from reaching forward to pry them out of her hair.  Realizing I didn't want to end up as the next case on the court docket I decided to keep my hands to myself.

Phew*

So here I sit - people watching and thoroughly enjoying this experience. 

I do, however, wonder about the whole 'jury of your peers' concept.  And I realize, if Lady gets selected for this case, the defendant might need to be placed on suicide watch!

(When I write my novel,  I promise ... "Lady" and Whimpers will make an appearance ... Deliberately!)